Stress Relief Archives - Nirvana Diet

On Dreams… why we Dream…and what to you can do with your Dreams.

December 5, 2012 by admin Leave a Comment

To this day, it is not completely understood why it is that we dream. There is consensus, however, that without dreams we suffer both physically and psychologically. Many mental illnesses are considered to go along with with sleep irregularities, because poor sleep compromises the dream state. The brain is wired to dream, and the correlation between lack of dreaming, disturbed dreaming, and mental illness is very high. “Insomnia and depression are so strongly linked, some experts believe they are flips sides of the same disorder” (Naiman, 2011, para. 2).

There is also no consensus on what to do with dreams, if are they are to be interpreted, and if so how to go about it. There are many theories, from Freud’s (1914/2010) wish fulfillment of repressed desires, to Jung’s (1974) compensation theory and the notion that dreams are a symbolic portal, to God providing guidance towards individuation (Whitmont & Perera, 1985). There are even theorists, such as Aizenstat (2011), who do not focus on the why, or the meaning of dreams, but feel it is more valuable to engage an imaginative dialogue with “who” is visiting in the dream.

Dreams are images that appear real, and over which one does not have conscious control. “The imagined scene is uncritically accepted and the dreamer mistakes it for a real perception” (Solms, 1999, p. 7). Jung (1974) said: “The dream is a fragment of psychic activity, just conscious enough to be reproducible in the waking state (Jung, 1974, p.68). According to neuroscientists, dreams appear real because they are “a ‘delusional hallucinatory state’ driven by activation of the brain’s basic motivational system . . . stoked by an abundance of the neurotransmitter dopamine” (Marano, 2005, para. 6).

Since dopamine is primarily related to the “behaviours designed to obtain reward” (Dubac, 2002a, para. 3), it is also connected to the libidinal drives that bring pleasure, relieve anxiety, or as Freud (2010) said: wish fulfillment and remains of the day. Neuroscience research seems to be backing up Freud’s theories of wish fulfillment, as supported by the role of dopamine in dreaming.

It is my belief that all the theories on why we dream are partly right. The problems begin when we try to interpret our dreams and decide what to make of them. Since dream interpretation can reveal more about the interpreters and the theories to which they subscribe than the dreamers, it seems that dream interpretation must be done with the dreamer.

So why not keep a dream journal? It has been said if you ask yourself before you go to sleep to remember your dreams, you are more likely to do so. Upon awakening, try not to move, just to focus on what you remember. It gets easier with practice. All you have to do is to write it down.

After that you may be ready for the next step which is to get in dialogue with your dream. Ask the dream what is it you want me to know or understand by having this dream. Write it all down in your dream journal. You will be amazed how helpful it is. Some of the dreams may seem bizarre or weird. That’s okay, just write down what it is, as best you remember.

References:

Aizenstat, S. (2011) Dream tending. New Orleans: LA: Spring.

Dubac, B. (2002b). The brain from top to bottom: Seeking pleasure and avoiding pain (A. Daigen, Trans.). Retrieved from http://thebrain.mcgill.ca/flash/i/i_03/i_03_p/ i_03_p_que/i_03_p_que.html.

Freud, S. (2010). On dreams (CosimoClassics, Trans.). New York, NY: Cosimo. (Original work published 1914).

Jung, (1974). Dreams (R. F. C. Hull, Trans.). Princeton. NJ: Princeton University Press.

Marano, H. E. (2005, March 01). Why we dream. Psychology Today. Retrieved from http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200504/ why-we-dream

Naiman, R. (2011, March 02). Circadian rhythm and blues: The interface of depression with sleep and dreams. Psychology Today. Retrieved from http://www .psychologytoday.com/blog/mindful-sleep-mindful-dreams/201103/circadian-rhythm-and-blues-the-interface-depression-sleep.

Solms, M. (1999). The interpretation of dreams and the neurosciences. Retrieved from http://www.psychoanalysis.org.uk/solms4.htm

Whitmont, E. C., & Perera, S. B. (1989). Dreams, a portal to the source. London, UK: Routledge.

Are you an optimist and why is optimism so important?

May 30, 2012 by admin Leave a Comment

In a recent article in The New York Times Jane Brody discussed the merits of being an optimist. Seeing the glass as being half full as opposed to half empty is very much a function of how you see it. An important distinction was made between being an optimist and two other character traits that complement optimism: persistence and what is called motivation (not giving up).

This was found in a research study by Dr. Segerstrom and others to be the gift of optimism because when you combine optimism with persistence it leads to being able to creative solutions. All great moments of creativity began with a problem. Frustration and not giving up on finding a solution to a problem is the genesis of creativity. Pessimism derails creativity which often requires one to keep on keeping.

Insights come when we least expect yet when we are still waiting expectantly for an answer. In order to do this, a problem has to be turned around into a question and not viewed just as a problem. That takes character.

The other gift in optimism is the capacity to see a set back into a learning. Once again this is a function of how you view it and how a negative once again gets spun into a positive. These gifts appear to have some basis in genetics specifically one’s that affect neurotransmitters in to the brain such as dopamine that affect goal focused behavior.

The question then becomes if you were not born with the optimism gene can you acquire it? According to Dr. Segerstrom and other researchers the answer is yes. Perhaps we should focus more attention on optimism than happiness? Her advice is to “fake it until you make it” which is another way of saying how taking actions have the capacity to rewire the brain. I think a key to this is to reawaken the creativity within which then leads to the qualities that help turn problems into solutions. Creativity is a state of mind and a way of seeing. If you think you can, the likelihood that you will is much greater.

Losing weight is really the same dynamic. If you think you can, you will, but you must think of yourself first as a thinner person, from there you have the ability to make changes that become your way of living. Another way to approach this is to take up meditation. Meditation has the capacity to increase the cells in the brain that register optimism. Download Meditation Made Easy and get started now on thinking like a more optimistic person.

Feeding your creativity. What are you really hungry for?

May 10, 2012 by admin Leave a Comment

So how do you ‘grow’ creative ability and lose your appetite for the things that do not serve you in life?

So we are born creative, to be creative and then we seem to lose it. To grow and reconnect with the creative spark within you must be willing to make mistakes, and laugh at yourself. Einstein’s quote is relevant here: “A person who has never made a mistake never tried anything new.”

Creativity can be re-cultivated. Creativity comes from using the “whole brain” that is left and right working together. Believe it or not meditation has been shown to increase creativity helping to connect left and right brain. Meditation and creativity go together and both can become your daily practice. To begin your daily practice check out the meditation made easy program I developed. You can also look at Julia Cameron’s groundbreaking book on creativity The Artist’s Way. Growing creativity is like exercising you have to do it everyday as a daily practice.

Something happens in school that shuts that down, favors and rewards left brain thinking. I remember with my own children growing up and how different it was moving from kindergarten to first grade. My daughter came home from school one day very upset complaining how the first grade and school was not fun anymore. There was the big push to learn how to read and from then on creativity was not honored but marginalized. I also think it has a lot to do with playing… children spend so much of their lives playing. If you can bring more play into your life you may find yourself more focused to achieve your lifestyle goals whether it be to lose weight or find your passion.

Ultimately creativity involves the capacity to see relationships between things that are not related and to “think out of the box.” The problem is if one lives in a box, how does one think outside it? I also think creativity comes from the muses. It is about inklings, flashes of ideas that just pop into one’s head that may not even be one’s own.

Creativity is also about change and transformation. It is the process of bringing something new into being and making something of it. Does that sound familiar? Isn’t that how we change a habit? To that I would also like to add Amit Goswami’s definition: “creativity is the discontinuous exploration of new meaning in new and old contexts(s) of value. Looking for the link between creativity, change and values is a creative act.

What do you want to create? When you give some focus and attention to this drive, you may see that eating healthier food and exercising daily comes more naturally to you and watching TV are no longer interesting. Ultimately tending to our creative side makes us more stress hardy as well.

Tell me how some ways you can begin to activate and tend to your creative side.

Goswami, A. (1999). Quantum creativity. Creskill, NY: Hampton Press.

On being an alpha female and eating cake everyday

February 7, 2012 by admin Leave a Comment

I found the conversation between Demi Moore and Amanda de Cadenet in Bazaar to be very enlightening. Both of these women seem very knowledgeable in terms of how to live a more enlightened life. Demi Moore speaks about having a “nobody cares, an it doesn’t matter attitude towards life and about the importance of acceptance. She describes freedom as: “letting go of the outcome, truly being in the moment, not reflecting on the past and not projecting into the future.” Demi Moore seems to be on top of her game in terms of what she knows intellectually and has obviously learned a lot by being a student of Kabbalah for the past eight years. The problem is, it does not seem to have sunk in on an unconscious level. This is what I would call the human condition… you know what to do you just can’t seem to do it. Why?

What also struck me about the Bazaar article and their dialogue is the brutal way in which they talk about their body. Andrea says how “it’s an ongoing challenge for me that I don’t think my body looks how I want it to.” Her dream is to be able to eat cake every day and remain a size 6. Demi Moore feels “her body is betraying me…struggling with my weight and feeling that I couldn’t eat what I wanted to eat…or get my body to do what I wanted it to do.” Losing weight and maintaining an “ideal happy weight” should not be such a struggle.

The problem is despite what we think, we do not have control over our body or our mind. It is a misconception for us to think “we have control over only ourselves.” While this is an improvement from thinking we have control over others or life in general, we will only end up disappointed if we think we have control over ourselves. As a student of depth psychology which is the study of the unconscious, I can pretty much say the one thing that I have learned is that the only thing we can hope to have control over is how we react and respond. We are very much controlled by the culture, what we think is “perfect.” We are striving to be perfect when the only thing we have control over is how we choose to react to our life experiences.

Finally, the last thing I would imagine we want to be is what Amanda refers to as an alpha female. Thinking that this is something desirable is part of the problem. Alpha female means someone who is “on top of her dating game. She is obstinate, conceited and doesn’t make it easy for you to pick her up. She gives you a run for your money and makes you work overtime on her, so to speak. But all this only makes her more appealing to you.”

I do agree what we need to do to feel and be loveable is to be loveable to ourselves. This of course means as both Demi Moore and Amanda agree at the end of their dialogue is freedom or not letting your wounds defines you. This is our life’s work.

I have not studied Kabbalah but I know that there is a difference between understanding something and internalizing it inside. I have found the best way to do that is by developing a meditation practice which I have humorously called Smart, Sexy and Sane how to make meditation easy. To learn more about this you can go to meditation made easy. I can pretty much say the last thing I want to do is to eat cake every day. Something’s are best enjoyed when if they are special…not for every day. I do meditate every day though.

What we have to do is let go of immediate gratification. Meditation is not like taking a pill but over time it really works.

How to be healthier, happier and overcome stress naturally

January 30, 2012 by admin 2 Comments

Can you imagine being asked when was the last time you had some play time? How can playing help you to be happier and healthier? I remember when I had young children how natural it came to them to play. Play time was essential to their being nurtured and also how they learned. The difference between an adult and a child is that play comes naturally to a child. A child knows how to be in the imaginal world and how to use imagination and play as a way of life.

So how can you begin to include more play in your life? For adults this can be a hobby such as playing tennis, cards or even a musical instrument.

How you might also ask could play help you in your work life by embodying a spirit of playfulness while doing your job? The key thing to begin to shift, if you want to bring more play into your life is to lose the negative inner critic voice and the sense of a grim determination to succeed, change, excel, get what you think you want. You need to become more playful about thing.s and allow things to just “be.”

What do I mean by being more playful? Play is: “liking play; being prone to play, like a child or kitten; experimental; frolicsome,” says the dictionary. It is also being “lighthearted, in the now, letting go of judgment, gently poking fun at oneself.”

Experts agree that playfulness reduces stress and makes us feel happier:

It is a sign of health among animals. Scientists say the healthier and safer the herd feels, the more they play.
Playfulness is one of the signs of a marriage that is likely to last, according to relationship researcher Dr. John Gottman. It can ease tension during times of stress.
“Playfulness motivates people to learn mathematics and makes them more likely to own what they learn,” says the National Centre for Excellence in the Teaching of Mathematics.
People who practice “laughter yoga” reduce their blood pressure as well as the stress they feel.
Finally, playfulness made the short list of the 24 most important human strengths identified by researchers in the Positive Psychology movement.

Learning to incorporate play in your life is your first step towards raising your happiness set point.

Happiness is a function of your personality. To be happier you need to cultivate a happier personality or way of seeing your life and life itself. Play helps you to do this.

Play is also important for reducing stress. It’s important that you have at least one activity that you do regularly just for fun. Hobbies and reconnecting with art and creativity is another way to play. When you play or get involved in a hobby you tend to get really engrossed in the activity you enjoy. You can even begin to experience a state of being know as flow, in which your brain is in a near-meditative state. This can have enormous benefits just like meditation does.

Some people are even able to turn their hobbies into careers at some point, and end up with a lifestyle where their work is their play. This is I believe what really creates lasting happiness. Here is a great resource to begin to spark your interest in playing more.