When things get difficult is when you need to get “tougher.” It is inevitable that you will be doing a two-step with stress at some point in your day if you are alive. That’s right it is a part of our everyday life.  Oftentimes I have conversations with my clients on how to reduce their stress, since so many “unhealthy” habits we have are things we do to give us immediate gratification to make ourselves feel better. I call it looking for pleasure to try to deal with or not feel the pain. The more skillful or enlightened approach is to change your relationship to stress.

 Let’s take emotional and compulsive eating or what is called binging. Working with a recent client helped her to identify the triggers and see that the emotional eating usually followed feelings of anxiety, or not getting her needs met and feeling abandoned. I gave her a way to create the gap or space she needed before she binged so she could start to break the pattern. At first she called it stress, once she understood the pattern she had a way to deal with it.

That’s how you start: recognition of the pattern, understanding what is driving it, and focusing on the questions I have provided below. She now feels as if she has more power over the behavior, instead of feeling enslaved by it.

Did you ever think about the fact that your reaction and how to then deal with something is probably the only thing that under your control. Most people do not use their power of choice and react automatically. Here is a way to start to break that pattern and reduce the effects of stress. This is really important because chronic or continual stress can have serious health effects. I first studied this with the master, Jon Kabat Zinn. Read his article At Home in Our Bodies. I have since modified the approach. Here it goes…

 Mindfulness in a nutshell to Reduce Stress:

 1^st Step to Reduce Stress:

Stop & Breathe. The way out of a habit or a pattern is to break it and just give yourself some space. Slowing down the breath is proven to change your energy and break the stress response.

2^nd Step to Reduce Stress:

Identify what it is that is causing the stress. Mindfulness gives you the opportunity to get out or the conditioned stress reaction and just look at what is objectively.

3^rd Step to Reduce Stress:

Identify what you are feeling and see what the feelings are trying to tell you. That’s right most people do not want to feel their feelings and do not use them as a guidance system. This will help you to do what release and let go of your feelings once you understand what is going on. You can also see if you are over-reacting and use your breathe to calm yourself down. Stress triggers the primitive fight or flight response. It is not a state that gives you the sense that you have many options.

4^th Step to Reduce Stress:

Rethink…is there anything you can or should do about “it.” Decide if there is something you can do to change the situation that is causing you stress. If so…

5^th Step to Reduce Stress:

Act consciously… don’t just react. You may need to take a look at a bigger problem that you are avoiding or just take a simple step like plan your day better next time.

6^th Step to Reduce Stress:

Let it go. Holding on to things is not going to make anything any better. Let it out…write about it in your journal, talk or vent to a friend or just laugh. Don’t eat that will only make matters worse.  Make sure you examine the priorities you have in your life. Are you somehow creating your own stress? You are or need to view yourself as a priority.

Download my MP3 on stress reduction. Scroll down to Overcoming Stress in Difficult Times.

Are you taking time to have a self-care practice that you do daily.? That is how you put money in the bank for when you need it. Here’s mine: walk daily, breathe, meditate, spend some time in nature, and make sure I have some unstructured time. Give me your feedback if you have some other tips how you reduce stress and send this to a friend if you feel they are in need of advice.