Have you ever wondered why you were/ are attracted to certain people? Have you ever been caught in the paradox of repeating relationship patterns that do not work? If so you are not alone. Based on what I have studied, I think it is fair to say we make our relationship choices unconsciously.
Why would that be so? We are drawn to people who represent a mirror of our childhood wounds, unresolved issues we have with our parents in the hope that we can finally find in this person what it is we never got in childhood. The problem is we do this unconsciously, without being aware this may be going on.
I personally believe finding and keeping a real love relationship is one of the most important goals of life. It is because relating and being in a true love relationship is so important and because relationships have such a capacity to hurt, they also represent the greatest area for self-growth.
Relationship choices are also the search for someone who is strangely enough our opposite. There us often something about our personality we are not as good at or perhaps “need” in another and we are unconsciously attracted to someone because of that. This can be a source of conflict or be something that is generative.
This is why it is so important to cultivate a way of communicating where you are able to express your needs, not lay them on the other person as if it is their problem or responsibility, but something they might want to do for you. We all want to help each other fulfill our desires. This feels good. No one wants to be responsible for your unmet needs. Ultimately relationships are meant to help us grow… even the one’s that hurt.
I have found that archetypal coaching is particularly suited to relationship coaching because it includes an analysis of the unconscious aspects of the psyche by looking thru an astrological lens can illuminate a lot about our relationship patterns and issues. Once we are able to make these unconscious patterns conscious, we have a chance of getting the bigger picture and perhaps changing the pattern.
I am grateful to have learned and incorporated so many modalities that help me to have a depth perspective when I work with people. This in addition to the meditation practice I teach really inspires personal growth and change.
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