What does vulnerability have to do with losing weight?

Recently I came across a great Ted Talk by Dr. Bren Brown more on the role of shame as the root of addiction, depression and the tendency to be or feel small in life. Shame is something that is perpetrated by our culture to keep us down. All you have to do is to look at the advertising on that is on TV. Either one is being made to feel small, not being able to keep up the “Jones” or one is offered ways to dull the pain… food, drugs and various other ways to escape.

I would agree with Dr. Bren’s research, the most powerful thing that changed in me is my capacity to be and feel vulnerable. This is what led to be being loveable ironically. I just do not care what people think anymore. How liberating!  Really vulnerability is the key to freedom. But then, that is the problem for the capitalistic model, it needs people consuming. Consumption is driven by feeling not good enough. This really saddens me. What I have found is that without shame you do not need to consume as much… you lose weight, want to exercise, take care of yourself….feel happier naturally.

I would not say that guilt is a close second to shame and is no better in terms of its destructive abilities. The irony is that people want to be with other people who are human… vulnerable.  This means having the guts and ability to tell your story, be with the emotion, the vulnerability, and feeling like you are not defined by your story. I was given two books years ago when I got on the transformational journey that really affected me: Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw and Power vs. Force by David Hawkins, MD, PhD. The book gives you a way to move out of shame, and the second explains how shame is the lowest human emotion one can calibrate. The lower the emotions with which we resonate, the weaker we are. To me empathy and of course acceptance are the high roads.  To me acceptance is the real antidote to shame. I would also add to that laughter… having the capacity to laugh at it all.

Personally, I am still working on vulnerability because I learned to survive by not feeling certain emotions and just being in my head. I am happily still a work in progress  and I am ok to admit that is ok. Why not try the vulnerability diet… make sure you add a dash of acceptance!